Its Too Late To Go Back
by Midnights Dark Angel
Summary: Songfic: Its been a year since Naraku's defeat - many choices have been made, some for the good and some for the bad... Now they must realize that you cant change the past and that some wrong choices can have horrible consequences...


|| Its Too Late To Go Back... ||  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, although I really wish I did! I also do not own the song "War on Drugs" by the Barenaked Ladies.  
  
A/N: This is a songfic, but it will be a few chapters long. Also reviews are welcome, but please, no flames! This is my very first fanfic, so be kind... for my sake!  
  
Also... this chapter may be a little boring because I had a hard time making the first bit of the song fit with the story, but it will get better, I promise!  
  
Symbols - "..." speaking  
  
'...' thinking  
  
||...|| song lyrics  
  
|| Chapter 1 - How It All Began ||  
  
Kagome lay curled up in the bed of her own hut in Kaede's village. Her eyes wandered around the darkened interior. This had been her home for nearly a year now - since the week after Naraku was defeated. The day Naraku had died had also been a happy one, for most. That day Sango and Miroku finally confessed their love for eachother and Miroku's wind tunnel had disappeared from his right hand. Sango's brother had also appeared, unharmed and finally back to normal - no longer one of Naraku's puppets. That was also the day that Inuyasha left her.  
  
|| She likes to sleep with the radio on ||  
  
Kagome stirred, shoving her sleeping bag off of her and onto a pile at the end of the bed. Her body was beat, but her eyes, they refused to close. They refused to let her have the sleep that she so very much desired. She sighed, lifting her tired body up from the bed benieth her and stumbling over towards her overly large yellow bag. Inside this bag was all the essentials, all she needed for her lifelong stay in fudal Japan. Yes, her stay would be a permanent one. She couldnt go home again, even if she wanted to, the jewel was gone. But even if she were faced with the choice, she wouldnt take it. She felt out of place there now. She had spent so much time in the past that the past had become her real home without her realizing it.   
  
After the battle she did return home, but it just wasnt the same. She realized that although her family and friends still loved her, they also had all learned to get along without her. She ended up only staying a week before travelling back through the well. Back to what she now considered the closest thing to home. Her family had beeged her to stay, and many tears were shed that day by all members of her family. Even Souta, who desperatly tried to be strong and manly and failed miserably. And even though they begged her to stay, they all secretly knew that she wouldnt, she couldnt. They knew that this was no longer her home, and although they tried to keep her there, they had to let her go...  
  
She dug through her bag, grabbing her CD player. It was one of the few modern luxuries that she had allowed herself to take with her to the past and she used it rarely... Only on the nights like this when there was no chance of sleep in sight. Slipping the headphones over her ears she turned on the CD player and went to lie in bed.  
  
|| So she can dream of her favorite song ||  
  
A burnt CD began spinning inside the CD compartment, music flooding Kagome's ears, comforting her slightly.  
  
|| The one that no one has ever sung, since she was small ||  
  
Each song was one from her past, when she was still young, carefree. Songs from when all she had to worry about was what outfit she would wear that day and which guy she wanted to go out with next. Sadly, those days seemed like a distant memory now... and they were. That life was one she would never posess again. She couldnt go back to those days... not after all she'd been through. That young girl had grown up, and not the way she should have either. Kagome had once been full of light and happiness, but slowly that happiness had died and the light had dimmed to a faint flicker. All that was left now was an empty shell of the girl she used to be, and everyone could see it.  
  
Slowly her eyes began to close as her favorite song, the one that reminded her of him, began to play.  
  
|| She'll never know that she made it up ||  
  
Every night she dreamed of him. Wondered what he was doing and how things would have been if it all had turned out differently. Before that day, and the final battle, she had imagined him taking her into his arms and telling her that it was her he wanted to be with, and that Kikyo could go to hell on her own. She dreamed that he had taken her as his mate and that they lived happily ever after. She still had those dreams, but it was too late now. It hadent turned out that way at all.  
  
|| She had a soul and we ate it up ||  
  
Instead it was the opposite. That day Kikyo had come to him after the battle and he had gone to her just like he said he would. He though she was now going to take him to hell with her, but no... She had other plans in mind that day. Instead Kikyo had told him that she wanted to live, wanted him to take her as his mate. Thats when Kagome had ran, ran to the well as fast as her feet would carry her, the jewel in tow. She thought that if Inuyasha didnt have the jewel then he couldnt transform Kikyo into a human. It had been a selfish decision, but she couldnt help it. She was so angry. The week that followed had been her last week in the future - the week she realized that the future was no longer her home. She guessed that Inuyasha knew she would be coming back, because that whole week he never came to retrieve the jewel from her. Instead he had stayed at Kaede's village, with Kikyo, waiting for her to return... And she did.  
  
The day she returned she handed the jewel over to Inuyasha, a silent sorry being exchanged between the two before she forced a small smile upon her face and congratulated Kikyo, wishing her the best of luck in the future. The wish was made later in the day on the Shikon no Tama turning Kikyo from clay and bones to flesh and blood, and then they left.  
  
|| Thrown away like a paper cup ||  
  
Inuyasha hadent even said goodbye to Kagome, he just left, and never came back. She felt as if all the time they had spent together had meant nothing to him, that he truely had used her as a substitute for Kikyo and now that she was living, well, he didnt need her anymore. She had cried for days after that, convincing herself with each fallen tear that everything caring he had ever said and done for her was a lie and that he was only doing it because she looked like Kikyo. Because she was her replacement... Thats when the happiness in Kagome had died. When the light had faded from her eyes and the smile from her lips. That was the day she fell into the depression that had taken ahold of her, never to come back again.  
  
|| The music falls... ||  
  
A/N: Yay! The first chapter of my very first fanfic/songfic! I REALLY hoped you liked it!!! The next chapter will be up soon... maybe later today, depending on how fast I finish it... 


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